What can make a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
What can make a fantastic parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it does not imply that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves then and first our children next. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
The following are 10 suggestions that can help you be a better parent, learn great parenting skills, and stay away from bad parenting.
Not all of them happen to be that easy.
Not everyone can do them on a regular basis.
Even though some of these might not be 100 % successful, you'll be able to move forward using the tips in this parenting guide.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
So, be the person you want your child to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show the love of yours.
There's simply no such thing as loving the child of yours too much. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over protection. When these things are given in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled child.
To love the child of yours can be as simple as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love is able to cause the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and also not to point out a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and basically determine who we're. They are created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences create good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories individuals that your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it appears to be difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what is right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be kind and firm whenever you set rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to learn for the future in a positive manner, rather than to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Tey letting your child know that you will remain there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to the needs of theirs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents that are constantly responsive tend to have better emotional regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a much better connection with the child of yours as well as your child will come to you when there's a problem.
But there is an additional reason behind communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't need to offer solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to become a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had a good upbringing and a happy childhood may wish to alter several aspects of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is an action towards understanding the reason we parent the way we do. Make note of things you'd like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be aware and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Do not give up if you do not succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Pay attention to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't take note of them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make a big difference in their parenting and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking is able to bring about short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
However, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The kid will be motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They are much more likely to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they're also more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child human relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are an assortment of better alternatives to discipline that have been shown to be much more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's your goal in raising a child?
When you're like most parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate the life of yours, next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to switch each negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is already known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting techniques, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for increasing a kid and info which are backed by science, here is one of my personal favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all Parentinghowto approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the very best parenting style, there are able to be a variety of effective parenting methods you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. There are many better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works best for your child.
Of course, you are able to also decide to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and may nonetheless buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that children with various temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but even worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not because of it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's additionally very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come much later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we will ultimately reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!